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ponytail girl

June 2010

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Losing Sean has made me think about a lot of things recently. Death, life, the unknown. You never know what can happen in a few hours, days, months, years. They always say you should appreciate the people you love and always tell them you love them. I do that anyways. I guess it makes me think of Sean and how he was in High School. You never know what can happen to you tomorrow. Did he ever wake up knowing in high school that he would never have kids? Did he ever wake up knowing he would never make it to twenty three? Did he know he would never grow old? I wonder if when something like this happens you have any insight or if it's unexpected. Everyday I look at Eli and know something could happen to him, so I always dig up just a little bit more patience. I never get angry with him, because I want his life to be the best it can. I never push over that line of frustration. You never know... I don't know. I guess it really makes me remember how short life can be.

I wish I was in Florida so I could attend his funeral. My thoughts are there, but I dont know... I just feel crushed. I havent even spoken to him in years, but he was the type of person that just touched your heart. Im having an extremely rough night right now.

"Would seem lonely
If you were the only
star in the night?

You've got to believe
It'll be alright in the end
You've got to believe
It'll be alright again

Time is a ribbon, a silent icy river (froze us all)
Running deep, deep and fast
Enough to get lost down in the flow
Crashing around
These tiny lives mean everything

And nobody knows
What's gonna happen tomorrow
So don't let go
Now we've come this far

Hold my hand please
Understand me
You're never alone"


So very, very true. None of us know how much time we, or those around us, have left.. which is why it's so important to let others know how much you care about them, and to be as good to those around us as possible.