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ponytail girl

June 2010

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oh no you didnt

I'm alive!  just in case you were wondering, haha.

It's just been a bit crazy around here.  Rhiannon has now grown out of her newborn sleep all the time schedule and is falling into the teething section.  It went straight from "colicky" to teething.  Such is the life of a baby I guess.  She definitely has her cute moments though, so I can't complain.  I know with myself, I can't speak for anyone else, I couldn't wait for Elijah to grow and do his next big thing.  Like right now I can't wait for him to grow out of his tempertantrum toddler stage that's making me crazy, but he does spend more time being cute and talkative now than before.  Rhiannon on the other hand, I don't want her to move.  I don't want her to do anything other than eat, sleep, coo and be cute.  I see Ramiah's baby who is two weeks older than Rhiannon sitting, standing and crawling and I want to die.  I keep joking that I'm going to break Rhiannon's baby legs so she will never do any of these things.  I love the stage she's at, even with the occasional teeth pain (they're not out, theyre still under the surface, but they sure make her drool, lol).  She smiles and talks all the time - she's also incredibly ticklish.  It's too cute, lol.  She looks like a wee monkey though, damn those Wagar ears.  The kids are so not on schedules that are worth anything right now.  Rhiannon wakes up between 5:30 and 6.  Which wouldn't be so bad, but Eli wakes up at about 8 now, right about when she's ready for another nap.  Then wakes up when Eli has his "quiet" time.  And it goes on from there.  I can't seem to get much done unless I have Elijah right under foot or holding the baby.  I need a maid.  :)

Keith's getting ready for NTC.  He's leaving "soon" (as in, I know when, but I don't want the internets to know).  That is going to be a pain in the ass big time.  Or it might be easier than I think.  I don't know.  2 months is a long time to be on my own with these kidlets.  Good thing about NTC is it's a fraction practice for the deployment coming up.  So he's been working almost constantly from 5 AM to about 8 at night.  And CRANKY.  He snaps over everything.  It's getting annoying because he's always on my case about the stupidest things, but I know he's mostly just stressed out.  he's the supply NCO without the rank or pay (which ticks me off, but I digress) so he has a ton of crap to do anymore.  That's all right, it's not like the families deserve any time with them before they deploy.

I'm having a serious inner fight right now.  Ive got a HUGE decision to make and I'm having a horrible time doing it.  I can either move to Utah or stay here while Keith is gone.  Okay, I know I've been tossing the idea back and forth for months, but now it can really happen.  Keith is coming into some money in the next few months.  He's giving me some of it for my own personal use.  He's given me 3 choices for it - move to Utah, get a laptop or go to Hawaii in Dec for the rescheduled U2 concert with the addition of Pearl Jam.  I REALLY want to go to Hawaii, but it's so expensive and I need to find a babysitter for the kids for a few days (or find someone to go with me and watch the kids for a few days, lol).  Of course my parents are saying moving is my best bet, they want their grandbabies up there.  I want to move too, but Im terrified.  See, we have to buy a house because everyone knows you can't rent with a dog.  So I've been looking into our VA and looking at houses.  I'm not sure how much the VA will give us, but I've found some decent places so far.  But we're sitting around waiting for his money to come and then we have to figure out if Keith will be able to help me move or if I will be SOL.  The way it's looking, I will probably have to do all of this on my own.  Which means getting a moving company which I am sure is hella expensive.  More research to do.  Anyways, it drives me nuts because I can't finalize anything, even if I find a place I like.  I hate to have people start working on something for me that I can't promise I can do. 

I have this big conflict with myself over wives moving back home when the husband deploys.  I think it's silly and a waste of money.  I mean, Im not going to school until I pay the U, so what would I be doing in Utah?  I would be doing the same thing there that I would be doing here, only saving a couple thousand dollars over this move.  And then there is the whole when Keith gets home thing.  I'll be there, he'll be here.  And I'd be in a house we own.  Which means I can't just pick up and move, even if I wanted to.  And he says if he makes 6 before his 7 yr mark, then he is going to stay in to retire.  While he still hasn't made Sgt (PT test he can't take, which he says I should blame the doctors for - I don't.) he seems to swear he will make 6 in country.  We'll see.  Anyways, no matter what he says, he's going to wind up staying in the Army forever, so whats the point.

It's frustrating because I want to move, I just don't think I can/should.  I've done the extended deployment thing before, I can do it again.  Keith wants me to move for my safety, but the one person that bothers me above everyone is going with keith.  Other than that, I will just have to be slightly more social than I am (lolz) and make more friends.  Ive got some around here for the most part, especially with this new girl I met (who seriously looks just like Ramiah, scary eh?) who has the guts to say everything Im thinking out loud to the chain of command. 

I have no idea what to do right now.  I should just stay here, save my money, and fix my credit even more.  That support system of family sure is tempting this time around.  GAH this sucks.  It would be nice to have a house Im not worried about someone nosing around, I will say that much.  And I'd love to have a play room for the kids.  I just wish I knew better how Keith is going to handle this deployment.  If its anything like the last time, it's not going to be pretty at all.

So on a better note, someone wanna come stay with me either here in El Paso or in Ogden to watch my kids so I can finally go to Hawaii, see U2 again, Pearl Jam (that's on my list of bands to see before I die including u2, depeche mode, VAST, Nine Inch Nails, Tori Amos, the Cure, Prince, Smashing Pumpkins [wah on that]) and finally go to HAWAII, YAY!  Oh and meet a bunch of Zootopians that I've been talking to on the internet.

I feel like banging my head into a wall.  seriously.

I've got to go learn this new broadcasting prog I've got.  Its totally awesome, but I have no idea what Im doing yet.  SO if you tune into my show tomorrow, you're just going to have to bear with me.

Comments

Dude, I would *totally* watch your kids in Hawaii :). Or I'd even watch them here. But I can't come to El Paso to watch them, so you're SOL there. But seriously, if you really wanted to fly through Dallas both ways, I'd watch the kiddos for a couple of days. It would be fun, right? (Or maybe I just have a death wish)
You have a death wish. No, really. 4 kids under 5? While I know Bridget and Eli would be much more fun to play around each other now, Im not so sure about how dealing with all 4 of them would be. Releasing your inner Mormon with all those kids? lol. Something to keep in the back of my mind, haha.
eh, if it got too much to handle, I'd just lock them in the bedroom and hide :)
hehe, I'd watch your kids too if I could find a way to get to Texas for under $100. or I'd go with you to Hawaii. Where in Hawaii is it? If it was in Maui, I bet I could get Marcus to set us up staying with some of his family, they'll make fun of us for being white chicks but they'd dig us all the same.

At first I was gonna say, do it, move away, but since that creepy guy is going too, I dunno, might be good for you to stick around. When's the last time you got a VACATION, you should spend the money on that!
Don't do the house-buying/moving thing unless you're going somewhere you intend to be for like 5 years or more, it's too much of a pain and too expensive otherwise...save up your money now and get better credit so you won't have to be paying out the ass for a mortgage.
I wanna say it's in Ohau, but don't quote me on it. It's on the touristy island, which is where Honolulu is. I know NOTHING about Hawaii other than I want to go so bad.

Yesterday I was intent on buying a house, today Im thinking I should stay. I want someone to make the decison for me and do all the move for me. Sometimes (all the time) I really hate being an adult.

I talked to my gay boyfriend yesterday who lives in SLC. His boyfriend of 5+ years works at a bank through a mortage branch. And knowing how much bobby wants me back in Utah, he basically gave me some sound advice on buying I'm reconsidering it again. And he also told me that he's never known me to be much of a lesbian so he can't see me "fixing up a house" haha. I told him I can be slight handy with certain things, but no one will see a Tina add a room to a house anytime in the near future. I can also see the price of houses sky rocket in Ogden soon because of this Gondola they are talking about putting in at Weber and then a train they are having go from SLC right into Ogden. I know that means nothing, but theyre big things, I swear. haha. Thing is, I wouldn't have a house for more than 3 years unless Keith got out and I don't know if I can see that happening.

Plus I want to be around my sisters. Jess (the one in the icon) decided to move back to Utah just for me, and now I don't know what Im doing. It's such a pain in the ass, lol.
Hahah, breaking the baby legs is a good idea! I was the same way with Caleb as you were with Eli and now I just want Emily to chill out and be a snuggly baby again!

I would go to Hawaii, living near family is so overrated. Sure you have free babysitters but you also have parents that can just "pop over" whenver they want! It's driving me nuts. But I do agree it's a hard decision...
Free babysitters? Free. Baby. Sitters. this does not compute. OH you mean your parents WATCH your kids?? For free?? Voluntarily?? Nuh uh. That doesnt EXSIST in my family. But the poppin' over thing wouldnt happen as much as one would think. They live over the mountain and through the woods - literally. :)

I miss you being a block over. This sucks.
Yeah I know. I miss almost everything about living there... except the city itself and the desert, and the heat, etc... You guys should all move to MI!