Keith's getting ready for NTC. He's leaving "soon" (as in, I know when, but I don't want the internets to know). That is going to be a pain in the ass big time. Or it might be easier than I think. I don't know. 2 months is a long time to be on my own with these kidlets. Good thing about NTC is it's a fraction practice for the deployment coming up. So he's been working almost constantly from 5 AM to about 8 at night. And CRANKY. He snaps over everything. It's getting annoying because he's always on my case about the stupidest things, but I know he's mostly just stressed out. he's the supply NCO without the rank or pay (which ticks me off, but I digress) so he has a ton of crap to do anymore. That's all right, it's not like the families deserve any time with them before they deploy.
I'm having a serious inner fight right now. Ive got a HUGE decision to make and I'm having a horrible time doing it. I can either move to Utah or stay here while Keith is gone. Okay, I know I've been tossing the idea back and forth for months, but now it can really happen. Keith is coming into some money in the next few months. He's giving me some of it for my own personal use. He's given me 3 choices for it - move to Utah, get a laptop or go to Hawaii in Dec for the rescheduled U2 concert with the addition of Pearl Jam. I REALLY want to go to Hawaii, but it's so expensive and I need to find a babysitter for the kids for a few days (or find someone to go with me and watch the kids for a few days, lol). Of course my parents are saying moving is my best bet, they want their grandbabies up there. I want to move too, but Im terrified. See, we have to buy a house because everyone knows you can't rent with a dog. So I've been looking into our VA and looking at houses. I'm not sure how much the VA will give us, but I've found some decent places so far. But we're sitting around waiting for his money to come and then we have to figure out if Keith will be able to help me move or if I will be SOL. The way it's looking, I will probably have to do all of this on my own. Which means getting a moving company which I am sure is hella expensive. More research to do. Anyways, it drives me nuts because I can't finalize anything, even if I find a place I like. I hate to have people start working on something for me that I can't promise I can do.
I have this big conflict with myself over wives moving back home when the husband deploys. I think it's silly and a waste of money. I mean, Im not going to school until I pay the U, so what would I be doing in Utah? I would be doing the same thing there that I would be doing here, only saving a couple thousand dollars over this move. And then there is the whole when Keith gets home thing. I'll be there, he'll be here. And I'd be in a house we own. Which means I can't just pick up and move, even if I wanted to. And he says if he makes 6 before his 7 yr mark, then he is going to stay in to retire. While he still hasn't made Sgt (PT test he can't take, which he says I should blame the doctors for - I don't.) he seems to swear he will make 6 in country. We'll see. Anyways, no matter what he says, he's going to wind up staying in the Army forever, so whats the point.
It's frustrating because I want to move, I just don't think I can/should. I've done the extended deployment thing before, I can do it again. Keith wants me to move for my safety, but the one person that bothers me above everyone is going with keith. Other than that, I will just have to be slightly more social than I am (lolz) and make more friends. Ive got some around here for the most part, especially with this new girl I met (who seriously looks just like Ramiah, scary eh?) who has the guts to say everything Im thinking out loud to the chain of command.
I have no idea what to do right now. I should just stay here, save my money, and fix my credit even more. That support system of family sure is tempting this time around. GAH this sucks. It would be nice to have a house Im not worried about someone nosing around, I will say that much. And I'd love to have a play room for the kids. I just wish I knew better how Keith is going to handle this deployment. If its anything like the last time, it's not going to be pretty at all.
So on a better note, someone wanna come stay with me either here in El Paso or in Ogden to watch my kids so I can finally go to Hawaii, see U2 again, Pearl Jam (that's on my list of bands to see before I die including
I feel like banging my head into a wall. seriously.
I've got to go learn this new broadcasting prog I've got. Its totally awesome, but I have no idea what Im doing yet. SO if you tune into my show tomorrow, you're just going to have to bear with me.